Oh man thank god I'm out of that day after funk I got my self in to. Every time i say to my girl "want to go for a pint" we end up closing the bar, drinking 30 pints and getting some narcotics in to our system that leads to the "good box"(thanks for that one JJ). Anyways a wicked night and we won some limo ride and a night stay in Niagara falls. All that means is I'm going to go gamble and some of our friends will come down and she will go to the club. We meet at the end and "boom goes the dynamite". Now there was one event that happened that evening that almost made me piss my fucking pant and spew at the same time. So my buddy walks in with the fucking haggard looking brawd. He's the fucking guy that thinks he a fucking lion the dirty mouth bastard. So u can imagine what kind of monster walks in with him. I think he may have paid for he to be honest but we will never know. So were all sitting around smashing drinks. I was drinking anything I could get my hands on. Still tasting JD 2 days later. Than all of a sudden I get a whiff of of a fart. I mean were in the middle of a bar it's going to be hard to pin point this one but the fucking smell never leaves and get stronger and stronger as the minutes pass. finally I say "fuck me I think someone shit them self's". Not even 5 seconds after that the fucking gypsy looking brawd my buddy brought got up and went to the bathroom. To my amazement the stank went with her. So she was in there for what seemed to be 30 min (drunk time of coarse) and she she comes back she asks to go home. By this time I'm loaded I say out loud take the dirty bum home. Now whenever I say something like that it never fails the music stops and a fucking spot light shines on me. Now I get the fucking "no box" look from my lady and my buddy looks like he wants to throw down. After all the cut eye they leave and we continue to drink. About 20 minutes later lion man walks back in and sits down with this fucking I just got raped from a trany kinda look. I grab some shots and say sorry for the dirty bum talk. He just goes silent and looks me right in the eye and says "she shit her self". NO FUCKING WAY!!! I was right she had a dirty bum. How the fuck does someone at the age of 26 shit there pants? The better question is where the fuck does my buddy find these brawds? So after all this we leave and he tell me to walk over to his car. he opens the door and what do I smell? The stank ass again!! I'm cant understand where the stank is coming from so I say shitty luck (no pun intended) and leave in a cab. So I wake up and my phone has like 10 missed calls from lion boy. I listen to the one message he leaves and this fucking chick leave her dirty fucking panties under his seat lol. What the fuck !!! All I can say is thank god my girl doesn't have a dirty butt. Remember ladies DON'T BE A SLUT....... WASH YOUR BUTT !
3 comments:
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHH What the Fuck LMAO
lol u guys piss on chicks and in the hammer we leave shitty panties in cars lol
i shit my pants on my couch one night while pushing out what i thought were farts. i didn't notice til the next morning when i actually took a shit and there were solids clinging to my boxers.
i was 26.... since i was 22 i've followed through on 3 farts and either curry stains or full out turds came out.
luckily i never push that hard in public.
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