THE LAST 5 DAYS !

FUCK ME is it good to be back to my couch and in front of my TV lol.  The last 5 days were full of drunkenness, fear, love, stripper love, police brutality, and fucking ice skating (totally straight). I will start this story somewhere on the 401 near Woodstock. Me and 5 buddy's were all in my truck driving to London for some good old fashioned university fun. We all went to western back in the day and were meting a bunch of people there . We started out as classy as 8 late 20 somethings could start a night of madness. At the keg for a over priced steak. For once I found it to be great. Food was fantastic, service was killer (my buddy's lady works there I think that's why it was good) and we got her discount as well. 40% off food and 60% off wine. This was great on the wallet but bad in the 7 pm drunken state of mind lol. So after 18 bottles of wine we decided to take off and head to one of the classiest strip clubs in all the land. The Beef Barron!! And let me tell ya it's beefy! Lovely lady's and reasonable drinks = a dirty drunken 6 hrs and a combined $2500. Well worth the cash and just so everyone knows JJ's blog was right and the songs work. So there are 3 slues that want to take off and do some illegal narcotics. Not strippers just lady's that were there and I'm always down for doing some narcotics. We all head back to the hotel and the games begun. Not going to go into to much detail but I kicked everyone out around 6am cause I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. So Friday night is over and I hit the sac around 7 am Saturday. Woke up at fucking 11am to my buddy blowing up my phone freaking out that his lady (the one that just hooked us up the crazy discount) kicked him out of the house because he smelt of skank when he got home lol. Guess I'm up and if I got to deal with this shit I better start it up again. I sit my ass down with a glass of scotch and some drugs and listen to this guy talk to me about how he loves his wife so much and how much of a mistake it was. I just asked him if he was thinking of that when he had some chick dancing on his pole and another on his face last night while he got his man plums sucked? I got no reply lol. See I'm not married and I get tons of sex so when my buddy's do crazy shit like that I just do a ton of narcotics and drink my face off. I love to party but I love my lady as well (totally straight). Feeling a lil bad about this I tell him ill take the bullet for him. This is the moment everything went to fucking shit for me. I take his ass back home and when we pull up there's a cop car there and a whole shit load of his things on the fucking grass lol . Like something ya would see in a fucking movie lol fucking to much. We walk up to the house and get stopped by a cop asking who we are. My buddy said this is his house and he lives here. Not even 3 seconds after that We both get our asses tackled to the ground by cops. What the fuck is going on here. I get let go after 45 min in the back of a cop car and get the scoop. This chick called the cops on him and said that he beat her. Now I've known this guy for over 12 years and he's quite possibly the biggest bitch in the world. Love him to death (totally straight) but he wouldn't hurt anyone. So anyways to make a long story short. She said she lied and she was just pissed that he had been out all night bla bla bla. I headed back to the hotel and grab my phone that I left there to find my lady called me about 10 times. Fuck me why would she stalk my ass that many times. I call her back and KABOOM !!! She goes off about how my buddy's skank called her saying that we had some big fuck fest in the hotel room last night. Are u fucking kidding me! This fucking chicks man is a slue and because I supply the narcotics and room for them to slue it up i'm a slue as well? This is not going to be something I can rectify my self and it's time to call my buddy and get some backup. His slut face lady called my lady got to the bottom of it and told her she was sorry for being a crazy slut face (I added the slut face thing in there but she should have). So my lady knows I don't fuck around but shes still a lil pissed that I had a porn shoot in my room. I decided to call it a weekend and go home that night to hibernate for a day or 2,  knowing this is going to cost me a bunch of cash in the next few days making it up to her. Sunday I don't move and just feel like dyeing. Monday comes and it's payback time. I decide to take her to Toronto for the night and do some shopping. Like every other lady she loves shopping. After shopping we grabbed a late lunch and she gets this idea to go to a play. Fuck my life I hate plays but I am in no position to say shit. What do we go see... fucking Billy Elliot (TOTALLY GAY). Fuck me this cant get any worse. After the show we head back to the hotel and hit the sac to end the day of shit. We get up grab some breakfast and think of what great and exciting things we could do next lol . She says lets go skating at city hall. I say sure and while were at it why don't we stick a butt plug up my ass and make me dress up like a cheerleader. Even after that fantastic comment we still went lol. I froze my bag off and almost got taken out by chicken foot eating slant eye but all in all it was a decent day. So after $2000, almost getting arrested, watching a narcotic filled sex show, and ice skating I closed the book on the last 5 days and I'm not leaving my couch for the next 2 weeks. Its so much safer here and I need to gamble to make my $2000 back lol.