WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK

Sitting my ass down right now, flipping through the channels and what do I come to ?? Fucking minute to win it. The fucking host of that fucking show is that blond cock eyed fuck Guy Fieri. Is this guy not a fucking chef? Do u have to cook on this show ? What the fuck is this guy doing hosting a non cooking TV show ? This sloppy mother fucker has parlayed his cooking fame into the host of the fucking most ridicules show on TV. For anyone that hasn't seen this show, your have a minute to complete the task they give you. Things like unroll a roll of poo tickets, toss ping pong balls in to a cup, really fucking lame shit. But back to this fucking Cook. This fat fuck dyes his hair blond, eats some fucking greasy food that some dirty ass redneck deep fried and now hes famous ? I don't know why this pisses me off so much but it does. It's like that fucking guy on Man VS. Food. That fucking CUNT FACE gets a TV show so he can kill him self ? I'm not saying I don't eat like shit sometimes but this fucking slob of a human smashes the fucking greasiest shit your have ever seen. I watched this fucking guy eat a 10lb breakfast burrito once, just a fucking mess. Not only does he eat all this shit but it's the way he eats it. It's all over his face, dripping on his shirt and shit. This is why I watch sports. Maybe tomorrow I'll go on a rant about those real house wives. Another bunch of CUNT FACES.

.......FUCK !!

FUCK THE LONGHORNS
FUCK THE PREDATORS
FUCK THE CLIPPERS
FUCK THE NBA
FUCK THE NCAABB
FUCK THE NHL

TIM HORTONS CAN SUCK MY MAN PLUMS !

Fucking Tim Horton's man. This fucking company has there annual roll up the rim giveaway every February. Everyone gets there rocks off cause we Canadians love free shit. Even I go there about 3 times a day while this shit is going on. There's just something I don't understand about this contest. Almost every year they have had this contest most of the stores run out of cups. I would think everyone reading this in Canada has been to a Timmy's where they said we have run out of that size no? That being said if ya look at what they give away it just doesn't add up. Last year was the first year all the cars went but only 875 of the net books went and 92 of the $10000 cash prizes went. So where are the other 125 net books ? Or the other 8 $10000 cash prizes ? If all the cups are gone where r the prizes ? I don't know about you people but if I won one of those prizes, I would at least claim it. Not like a fucking cookie or something that you misplace. It just doesn't make sense to me. If you say your going to give out 100 cash prizes than give out 100 cash prizes. It's all fucking fixed anyways. They know where the winning cups go. I mean there not going to send them to fucking Iqaluit, Nunavut. There going to the big city's where the cups run out. Yeah i get some people are fucking stupid and don't roll up the rim as well but 125 unrolled cups were net books ? I'm not buying it. I guess we should just be happy a company the size of Tim Horton's is willing to give something back to the little guy. Or your can be like me and question them till they give you a reasonable answer. I guess what I'm saying is all you Tim Horton's drinkers out there ROLL UP YOUR FUCKING RIM !! I would feel like a real CUNT FACE if I tossed away a new BBQ or a 3D TV.

THE LAST 5 DAYS !

FUCK ME is it good to be back to my couch and in front of my TV lol.  The last 5 days were full of drunkenness, fear, love, stripper love, police brutality, and fucking ice skating (totally straight). I will start this story somewhere on the 401 near Woodstock. Me and 5 buddy's were all in my truck driving to London for some good old fashioned university fun. We all went to western back in the day and were meting a bunch of people there . We started out as classy as 8 late 20 somethings could start a night of madness. At the keg for a over priced steak. For once I found it to be great. Food was fantastic, service was killer (my buddy's lady works there I think that's why it was good) and we got her discount as well. 40% off food and 60% off wine. This was great on the wallet but bad in the 7 pm drunken state of mind lol. So after 18 bottles of wine we decided to take off and head to one of the classiest strip clubs in all the land. The Beef Barron!! And let me tell ya it's beefy! Lovely lady's and reasonable drinks = a dirty drunken 6 hrs and a combined $2500. Well worth the cash and just so everyone knows JJ's blog was right and the songs work. So there are 3 slues that want to take off and do some illegal narcotics. Not strippers just lady's that were there and I'm always down for doing some narcotics. We all head back to the hotel and the games begun. Not going to go into to much detail but I kicked everyone out around 6am cause I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. So Friday night is over and I hit the sac around 7 am Saturday. Woke up at fucking 11am to my buddy blowing up my phone freaking out that his lady (the one that just hooked us up the crazy discount) kicked him out of the house because he smelt of skank when he got home lol. Guess I'm up and if I got to deal with this shit I better start it up again. I sit my ass down with a glass of scotch and some drugs and listen to this guy talk to me about how he loves his wife so much and how much of a mistake it was. I just asked him if he was thinking of that when he had some chick dancing on his pole and another on his face last night while he got his man plums sucked? I got no reply lol. See I'm not married and I get tons of sex so when my buddy's do crazy shit like that I just do a ton of narcotics and drink my face off. I love to party but I love my lady as well (totally straight). Feeling a lil bad about this I tell him ill take the bullet for him. This is the moment everything went to fucking shit for me. I take his ass back home and when we pull up there's a cop car there and a whole shit load of his things on the fucking grass lol . Like something ya would see in a fucking movie lol fucking to much. We walk up to the house and get stopped by a cop asking who we are. My buddy said this is his house and he lives here. Not even 3 seconds after that We both get our asses tackled to the ground by cops. What the fuck is going on here. I get let go after 45 min in the back of a cop car and get the scoop. This chick called the cops on him and said that he beat her. Now I've known this guy for over 12 years and he's quite possibly the biggest bitch in the world. Love him to death (totally straight) but he wouldn't hurt anyone. So anyways to make a long story short. She said she lied and she was just pissed that he had been out all night bla bla bla. I headed back to the hotel and grab my phone that I left there to find my lady called me about 10 times. Fuck me why would she stalk my ass that many times. I call her back and KABOOM !!! She goes off about how my buddy's skank called her saying that we had some big fuck fest in the hotel room last night. Are u fucking kidding me! This fucking chicks man is a slue and because I supply the narcotics and room for them to slue it up i'm a slue as well? This is not going to be something I can rectify my self and it's time to call my buddy and get some backup. His slut face lady called my lady got to the bottom of it and told her she was sorry for being a crazy slut face (I added the slut face thing in there but she should have). So my lady knows I don't fuck around but shes still a lil pissed that I had a porn shoot in my room. I decided to call it a weekend and go home that night to hibernate for a day or 2,  knowing this is going to cost me a bunch of cash in the next few days making it up to her. Sunday I don't move and just feel like dyeing. Monday comes and it's payback time. I decide to take her to Toronto for the night and do some shopping. Like every other lady she loves shopping. After shopping we grabbed a late lunch and she gets this idea to go to a play. Fuck my life I hate plays but I am in no position to say shit. What do we go see... fucking Billy Elliot (TOTALLY GAY). Fuck me this cant get any worse. After the show we head back to the hotel and hit the sac to end the day of shit. We get up grab some breakfast and think of what great and exciting things we could do next lol . She says lets go skating at city hall. I say sure and while were at it why don't we stick a butt plug up my ass and make me dress up like a cheerleader. Even after that fantastic comment we still went lol. I froze my bag off and almost got taken out by chicken foot eating slant eye but all in all it was a decent day. So after $2000, almost getting arrested, watching a narcotic filled sex show, and ice skating I closed the book on the last 5 days and I'm not leaving my couch for the next 2 weeks. Its so much safer here and I need to gamble to make my $2000 back lol.  

ARGH.....

POST TO COME LATER IN THE DAY. I FEEL LIKE A BAG OF SMASHED ASSHOLES RIGHT NOW.

MILOS TO THE FINALS !

Going for his 2nd ATP win in as many weeks tomorrow.

MILOS RAONIC

I don't know how many of you follow tennis at all but this Canadian kid is making a name for him self in the ATP tour. Milos Raonic is finally bringing Canadian tennis to the big stage. Last month at the Ausi open, he made it to the round of 16. Last week he won his first ATP tour event. Now this weekend hes in the semi final for the ATP Memphis. This kid is only 21 and people are saying he may have the best serve on the ATP tour. This being said as I watch TSN or Sports Net and our biggest tennis up and comer gets about 30 seconds of face time and 4-8 reporters cant pronounce his name. All those fucking dildos do is report on sports and they cant pronounce a fucking name. Those stations are willing to give half a fucking show to talk about the fucking trany looking Chris Bosh coming back to Toronto but this kid get a quick hey he won a tournament. Not only that but if you go to watch his matches on any of these stations your more likely to get a replay of fucking poker or better yet maybe some darts or pool. FUCK POKER,DARTS, AND POOL!! Give your fucking head a shake and start showing programs that people care about. Who the fuck watches darts?!?! If you do go back to brittan ya limey fuck. Give this kid some face time and let Canada know we have someone to cheer for now in tennis. Fucking darts...... FUCK!!!

TRIPLE H !!

I'm sure all of you have had those moments that ya hear or see something and it makes ya remember something in the past. Well today was that day for me. I was sitting there thinking of many get rich quick ideas I have when on the TV comes the commercial about herpes. Well don't I start laughing inside and remember back in the day. So my buddy was dating this chick (a real gypsy dirt bag kinda girl). They date for a year or so and one day he finds this medication for the herps in her bag. So he asks her why she needs this and she replies "i had herpes". You cant be fucking serious!?!?! HAD ??? They don't go away ya stupid fucking gypsy. The craziest shit was that he believed her. This mother fucker even had the balls to say to me and a few buddies that she "HAD" herpes. I do have to say that this guy was one of those dudes that didn't have to take french and had like basic english in high school. So I'm not even sure he had to take health class. But fucking come on they just fucking went away? But she likes to hold on to the meds just in case she fucks a lumpy cock again ? Just fucking bananas I say! Being the dicks me and my buddies were, we created a name for this monster. Triple H (Herpe Having Hoe). The best part was she started calling her self that. She would walk in to a party and yell "Triple H is here". Almost piss my pants every time. Fuck it's good to have memories.

DONT BE A SLUT....WASH YOU BUTT!!

Oh man thank god I'm out of that day after funk I got my self in to. Every time i say to my girl "want to go for a pint" we end up closing the bar, drinking 30 pints and getting some narcotics in to our system that leads to the "good box"(thanks for that one JJ). Anyways a wicked night and we won some limo ride and a night stay in Niagara falls. All that means is I'm going to go gamble and some of our friends will come down and she will go to the club. We meet at the end and "boom goes the dynamite". Now there was one event that happened that evening that almost made me piss my fucking pant and spew at the same time. So my buddy walks in with the fucking haggard looking brawd. He's the fucking guy that thinks he a fucking lion the dirty mouth bastard. So u can imagine what kind of monster walks in with him. I think he may have paid for he to be honest but we will never know. So were all sitting around smashing drinks. I was drinking anything I could get my hands on. Still tasting JD 2 days later. Than all of a sudden I get a whiff of of a fart. I mean were in the middle of a bar it's going to be hard to pin point this one but the fucking smell never leaves and get stronger and stronger as the minutes pass. finally I say "fuck me I think someone shit them self's". Not even 5 seconds after that the fucking gypsy looking brawd my buddy brought got up and went to the bathroom. To my amazement the stank went with her. So she was in there for what seemed to be 30 min (drunk time of coarse) and she she comes back she asks to go home. By this time I'm loaded I say out loud take the dirty bum home. Now whenever I say something like that it never fails the music stops and a fucking spot light shines on me. Now I get the fucking "no box" look from my lady and my buddy looks like he wants to throw down. After all the cut eye they leave and we continue to drink. About 20 minutes later lion man walks back in and sits down with this fucking I just got raped from a trany kinda look. I grab some shots and say sorry for the dirty bum talk. He just goes silent and looks me right in the eye and says "she shit her self". NO FUCKING WAY!!! I was right she had a dirty bum. How the fuck does someone at the age of 26 shit there pants? The better question is where the fuck does my buddy find these brawds? So after all this we leave and he tell me to walk over to his car. he opens the door and what do I smell? The stank ass again!! I'm cant understand where the stank is coming from so I say shitty luck (no pun intended) and leave in a cab. So I wake up and my phone has like 10 missed calls from lion boy. I listen to the one message he leaves and this fucking chick leave her dirty fucking panties under his seat lol. What the fuck !!! All I can say is thank god my girl doesn't have a dirty butt. Remember ladies DON'T BE A SLUT....... WASH YOUR BUTT !

SUPER FUCKING HUNG!

Got a shitty hangover but man do I got some fucked up stories from last night lol. I'll get them up a bit later when I can get my shit together.

I JUST BLEW MY FUCKING MIND!!

Fuck me! So I'm siting here checking out some of my sports sites and every time I come to a Leafs story I got to read it. I think to my self why that fuck do I need to read this shit. why do i follow the fucking Waffles so much. Than boom goes the dynamite!!!! I've come to the conclusion that I'm  closet Waffles fan. What the fuck !!! For years I have been on the "I hate the Leafs" bandwagon, But every time there on I watch the game and I read up on just about everything that happens to them. Now I'm still in denial to the possibility that i may be a Leafs fan. I'm going to blame fucking Southern Ontario sports programs. Every time I turn on TSN, Sports Net, or that fucking joke of a station The Score all I hear is "Waffles this , Waffles that". So does that mean maybe I'm not a fan?? But why do I watch there games and read everything about them ?? This is more confusing than my first boner in grade 4. (in science class and she grabbed my wanger. I know right what a slut for grade 4!) Ok back to my Waffle problem. What should I do about this ? Do I stop watching sports shows ?? Do I turn into that guy that watches Rachel Ray and cooks the newest recipe she tells ya about ?? I think it would be the lesser of 2 evils here. Totally not straight but a Waffles fan ?!?! Just not right. I'm in quite the pickle here people.

FUCKING TICKET MASTER!

Ok so here's the scoop today. For Christmas i got my Lady's parents some tickets to a bull dogs game and out I'm taking them out for dinner and drinks after the game. So I check out these tickets today and were sitting in the fucking non alchol section............ FUCK ME !!!!! This ain't that big of a deal to me cause anyone that has ever been to bulldogs game knows there lucky to get 2500-3000 fans. leaving about 5000 seats open. I would just move over grab some beers and watch some AHL. But my lady's mom is a lil nutty about doing shit like that so I decide to go the legit way and get the tickets exchanged for other seats (keep in mind there are 5000 seats open). I start off with the box office but they say because I got them from Ticketmaster I need to call them. No problem. So I call them and I'm told first that they are unable to exchange the tickets because they may not have seats open.............. It's a fucking AHL game for fucks sakes. I was there when they won the Calder cup and it was still not sold out. Don't tell me a fucking game in mid season is sold out. So now she feels like a cock face and proceeds to tell me no that oh actually our policy is all sales are final. So now that ticket master is fucked I've got to sit in a non alchol section and watch a AHL game because my lady's by the book mom wont sit in a seat that's not on her ticket. FML. Guess that means I need to sneak in a mickey of rye and get rowdy rather than drink beer and be cool. Hope your happy ticket master!

OK LETS DO THIS.

Ok so first off I would like to say Ty for everyone that's been following this mindless blog. Hope you have been able to make some cash. It's time to get serious tho. Last night I did great in the NHL going 5-1. The NBA was decent to me as well going 2-1. Than we go to the NCAAB where I went 0-2-1. Because of the NCAABB I only came out about $70 up. Now most of the people I respect and follow in the gambling world always talk about money management. This is something I need to start doing. I know nothing about the NCAABB game and gambling on a sport you don't know about is not a good way to profit lol. Now coming out with a profit is alot better than coming out down but that extra 200 I tossed down on NCAABB plays killed my night. From tonight on your going to see a lot less plays. But a lot smarter plays. Going to try and get 150-200 a night profit 1050-1400 a week. Big dreams I know but it's a goal. Decent weeks wages if ya ask me. That being said, there's  going to be nights that nothing looks right. So using my new money management skills lol I'm not going to make a play. This is going to be tougher than it sounds trust me. Time to get serious tho. Lets see if we can make some real money now. People should also check out http://sossportpicks.blogspot.com/. This guy knows his shit and is rocking a great record right now. Follow this guy and he could make some cash. GL everyone !

LORD GAMBLOR COME BACK TO ME!

Ok so I was having a great run. Key word there is was! NHL has been hitting back lately and all I can say is thank god the Superbowl is over. Saved face a bit with a the defensive TD pick  but that's the only bright spot from Sunday lol. Every morning I wake up go make some coffee than sit my ass down and watch some sports center. Well today was not like most mornings. I was able to make the coffee and sit my ass on the couch but I couldn't turn TSN on. I knew if I did all I would see is how my team lost the Superbowl lol. As hung over as I was that wasn't something I wanted to see again. So what do I do? I turn on my laptop and start gambling lol. I know I'm a fucking degenerate right ? But this morning on some live betting tennis there was this chick breaking every serve possible and was paying like 5.5 to do it. So here I am with under 1000 in my account, sitting in my under ware and drinking a coffee betting on tennis. All I can say is thank god the steelers lost lol. Cause if they won I would have tossed TSN on and wouldn't have won 2500 betting tennis!  All and all I'm up (even with a brutal Superbowl as far as gambling goes). Lets see if we can keep this early morning success going for a few days here.

METRO CAN SUCK MY BALL SAC!

So i head over to Metro (local supermarket) to grab some stuff for the Superbowl party I'm having. They had a sale on chicken wings 30 for $10. It's a 3 day sale that started Friday. So i go in there today to grab some for my party and there fucking sold out. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?! A 3 day sale and your sold out the first day ? Than to top it off the bitch says well ya know ya should have come yesterday! No you fucking ditch pig what YOU should have done is ordered more fucking chicken wings knowing that its fucking Superbowl weekend. Fucking tell me what to do ya dumb bitch. So i ask for a rain check and of coarse they wont give any out. I'm bitching cause that shit pisses me off. Who does the ordering for this shit? Oh and Sandy that works at the Metro at upper Ottawa  and Stonechurch, that bitch can go eat some ass. That is all of today.

FUCK THE HURRICANES AND THE COCK EATING WAFFLS !!!

Ok i got to vent some shit. Had some cash on the hurricanes and waffles games last night. Took the canes of coarse only to watch the worst defensive turnout I've seen all year. I'm not one to bitch about losing some cash but fuck if i would have known they were going to come out and play like my high school hockey team i would have picked the waffles. Saying that the person i feel for the most is fucking Cam Ward. That fucking guy didn't stand a chance with that fucking D in front of him. Oh well not even my team i just get pissed off when i see a team come out and play like that knowing what they get paid. Ok that's enough venting for one night. Oh yeah and just for the record i've been up for about 38 hrs now if your going to fade my pick i just thought ya should know that's all lol. GL tonight everyone !!

SUPER BOWL !!!!!

So now that the snow is done time to look to the weekend and more importantly Sunday and the 45th Superbowl. Some people i know are heading down to sin city for the weekend to gamble like champs among other things lol. Things in the gambling world have been going good for me since the NHL came back. Now i know it's only Thursday but I'm going to lay down my picks for the Superbowl today. I have over analyzed this game way to much looking at stats (i think are overrated in super bowls). If i went with stats i would be making a big play on the Packers. Every time to go to click on them i stop and my gut says go Steelers. Now I'm a huge Steelers fan and i thought maybe that's the only reason I'm thinking of picking them but i'm good at leaving that shit out of gambling. Now everyone has been talking about this dome shit. I agree that it's going to be a faster game and the packers will be quicker but fuck do the Steelers not have anyone with speed ?? Is there some magic that's only going to let the packers run and move faster on turf?? Cause if so someone let me know and I'll go packers cause that's a fucking big advantage lol. I see this being a epic close 3 point Superbowl. Steelers don't blow teams out and the packers wont be able to run around like everyone thinks. so lets break it down.

Passing i give the edge to the packers. A-rod has way to many weapons out there to not give him the advantage.

Rushing goes to the steelers. Mendenhall has been running like "The Bus" in the last few games and the only downfall on the packers D is there run stopping.

Defense is tough. Packers stop the pass but the steelers kill the run. The linebackers on both teams are the best the NFL has to offer. The D lines for both teams r crazy good as well. I give a slight edge to the packers in Backs (even tho the steelers have the 2010 defensive player of the year Troy Polamalu). so if ya go with that than i guess the edge would go to the Packers slightly

Special teams i would say is a tie. steelers fixed there Field goal kicking problem by letting Reed go.

So even after all of that i still think it's to close to call lol. This is where the intangibles come in to play. Things like experience, toughness, and mental toughness.

Experience has to go to the 6 time Superbowl champions the Steelers. They have won 2 of the last 5 Superbowl's and have something like 25 players playing that have been there be for. Packers having won 12 championships (3 Superbowl's) still only have 3 players that have been to the big games before.

Now as far as toughness is concerned i think to play in the NFL you got to be tough already lol. I still think Big Ben is one of the toughest players out there tho.

Mental toughness is something that will just play out in the game. I think the experience will come in to play with a jitters. No matter what they all say about only being nervous till kick off is bull shit. This is the biggest game of there lives. Some of those player may never get back to this game so they may think they need to do something a little more fancy than they are used to doing. This is where the errors come in to play. If any team gets away from the way they normally play it's all over for them.

Now i don't know if this is going to help anyone it's jut how i see it. Check out morencysports.com for some more info and sports talk. I'm sure Gabe is going to break it down with a few more numbers than me. GL on who ever ya guys pick !!

Just one more thing

GO STEELERS !!!!!!!!

Post coming tomorrow. Just spent 20 hrs in a bobcat moving snow.